Fourteen hours of a zoo of a day.


I don’t do this because of the pay,

Going straight into the fray

     From eight until ten

     Like the old headless hen,

It’s been a zoo of a day.

Synopsis:  I’m a family practitioner from Sioux City, Iowa.  Avoiding burnout, I’m taking a sabbatical while my one-year non-compete clause winds down, having adventures, visiting family and friends, and working in out-of-the-way places.  Currently I’m on assignment at the hospital in Barrow, Alaska, the northernmost point in the United States.

I’m writing this after fourteen continuous hours of caring for sick people trying to get better, sick people trying to stay sick, well people pretending to be sick, and a few well people just wanting to go back to work.

I tried to take care of five people who came out and said they didn’t trust me, then tried to bully me into narcotics prescriptions.  I pointed out to them that if they really didn’t have confidence in my judgment they wouldn’t accept anything I would prescribe, and the only thing they should take from me is an arrangement to see another doctor.

A recurring theme today, just like an episode of a TV doctor show, involved a schizophrenic with a horrendous medical problem that cannot be dealt with on the North Slope.  We discussed the patient at morning rounds, I made several calls to Anchorage and received varying combinations of arrogance and sympathy from the Big City.

I placed a cast with the advice to the patient for prompt follow-up if the cast got too tight.  Which it did.

Influenza and post influenza problems saturated the walk-in clinics.  People slip on the ice and sometimes break things, but mostly just hurt for a couple of weeks.  I explained to a lot of people that if it didn’t hurt bad enough to come in for the first five, six, or eight days that they didn’t narcotics today, and they should expect to be sore for several days.

The Inuit smoke a lot of marijuana, which has marginal legality here.  But they smoke it now like hippies smoked it in the sixties and a lot of folks haven’t been unstoned for decades.  Some of them hunt stoned.  I see health problems related to cannabis abuse.

Instead of eating dinner, I waited twenty minutes to talk to a pediatrician at ANMC (Alaska Native Medical Center) because the phone operator didn’t read the call schedule correctly.

When I finally connected to the surgeon/gynecologist/pediatrician, I received cogent, useful advice in a time efficient fashion.

Seventy percent of my business came from tobacco, alcohol, or marijuana. Twenty percent came from influenza.  Ten percent came from bad luck or overeating or both.

And I saw something I’d never, ever seen before.  I didn’t even ask for permission to write about it, even if the answer had been yes, I wouldn’t have written the details.

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